ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
