he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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