Define "chronic" masturbator.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
