Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I have already put on my inside pants.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
