Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
