Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
