Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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