somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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