im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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