stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
