You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
