I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
