Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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