yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
