When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
