The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize