she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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