just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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