Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
