He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
