ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
