I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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