Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
