i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
He felt like a one man threesome
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
