Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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