i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
