guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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