he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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