I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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