I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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