come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
the day after is always just damage control
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
