If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
