Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Panties = found
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize