I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Did you just see the Batmobile???
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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