I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
