When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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