We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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