I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
