shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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