That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
