Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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