I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I will be naked everywhere
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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