this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
