There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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