I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
