Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
