Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
