hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
