so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
