Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
