I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Your dad touched me again.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
