Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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