It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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