i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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