I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize