your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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