That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
