my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
