Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
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