I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
