never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
