It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
