Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My pussy is not your playground.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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