were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
