Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
