eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
