so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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