His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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